It’s often said that two broken people heal each other. Or people even believe that sometimes it happens to be the same person who shatters you is the one to heal you.
Is it true? Well, today’s agenda is to break this difficult topic of interpreting people and their true intentions just in time to save yourself from getting hurt anymore.
Say there’s a woman who had been in several relationships and yet has never felt rightly loved or cared for. She was either objectified or sexualized or traumatized. Not All women though, there are happy women who blissfully spend their lives being treated right. But again we know that’s not what happens to most of us. Men have been known to be simple creatures and their mind can often be read by their actions people say. I beg to differ. They are as complicated as women. Actually just a tad bit more. Any person regardless of gender, age, colour, race wants to be loved and cherished. And especially in India, it becomes a vital part of your life when you are a teen or a young adult because Indians don’t usually have the leverage to Love. We worship eternal lovers like Krishna and Radha but forbid love within the boundaries of our homes. (Strange things happen every day, but this isn’t one of them). Whenever an adult irrespective of whatever they went through wants to move ahead in life there are usually 3 types of people they encounter from both the genders (not that I avoid the existence of the third gender, but haven’t had any encounters yet).
The three types of people are:
- The Empathetic
- The Opportunist
- The Rebel.
The empathetic:These people are the ones who feel sorry for whatever you have been through. In case you have bad experiences. But generally, almost everything in anyone’s story is somehow incomplete without these people NOT feeling pity for you. They support you emotionally and try to make you cheerful apparently clueless of the fact that sometimes people don’t even want their empathies.
Now if breaking down this to gender reactions girls usually are more empathetic creatures because, Hello everyone knows girls can awe anything and anytime. Well, that’s not the reason though, A woman’s brain is wired in such a way that they tend to be more emotional and empathetic after they acquire a certain age, some just cope with it better.
A woman’s solution to your depression or sadness is always simple. They just care for you more and want to make you feel special which is their natural way of making you realize that you are indeed capable and worth loving, their small gestures towards the damaged person is often dealt with genuine care at times and sometimes more.
When it comes to Men, there are some who desperately want to make you feel special, although not completely devoid of empathy they tend to show it by small gestures too which apparently go unnoticed at times. For example, they show interest in your life, care for you promise you for things to get better and then make you comfortable.
Generally, these class of people who tend to be inclined and involved in your life to make it better mostly turn out to be great partners. Infect empathy can often transfer to love.
So if you have someone like this, be frank and tell them if you feel about them they’ are most likely to be happy and revert the same feeling for you.
These people are the sharks who feed on your fears and make it to their benefits. They only camouflage themselves as helpers but are really there to make use of the situation to their benefit.
In the case of girls, these often happen to be the type we recognize as “gold diggers”. it’s always easy to prey on the damaged people. For Girls, it gets a lil’ easier because they can pretend to care. Better than you know. And just by doing so they can get all their work done, sometimes Men mistake these for real love and get hurt again. But that’s a topic for a smoother day.
In case of men being the opportunist, well the case is all different. It depends on what kind of damaged person they are dealing with. But their benefit from the person boils down to just one thing in case they are pretending. It’s often Sex.
I don’t know why but this mentality is very common in men that if she is broke and you treat her right, it can always lead to the bed. Regardless of her being a rape victim, sexually abused, divorcee, and the list goes on.
Let’s take an example, a girl who’s been in several relationships and has admitted of having sexual experience is a jackpot. In case you don’t know let me dilute it for you, a guy with sexual experience can do it again, he gets the benefit to be close to her and keep doing so, until whatever may come. A guy without experience gets to do it, without having to work much hard.
What drives this?
Most men who are opportunists are driven by Lust. It may be because of many reasons, which may include their previous bad experiences in love probably betrayal or something else. Or they just are afraid of committing. Which is again a topic for later. These men empathize with you, talk for hours to know about you and your experiences but aren’t really listening. And the dumbheads the hurt ones play often fall for the trap thinking that the prevention and portrayal of care is simply another door to another wound they probably aren’t ready for.
But you know what the fun part is? Lust can lead to love.
Not convinced, well read on…
What these pretenders don’t realize is when they pretend to care a small part of their brain is accustomed to empathy even before they know of it. They might be driven by lust in the start but once they realize that the potential of the relationship they build with the damaged person has somehow made them to genuinely shower care and love. Well, this is just a theory and mostly happens with men who have had similar hurtful pasts that probably turned them to be the cool Playboys – with their “don’t care attitudes”.
But imagine his scenario because both of the parties involved have been through somewhat similar things can actually provide the other what they’re devoid of.
Say the man is afraid of losing his personal space and the woman has dealt with obsession in the past, she may never mess with that ground because she knows how it feels to be crowded.
As soon as people realize that their emotions are interlinked and lead one to other, you can say they found their soulmate.
The third kind of people are the simplest in the category and probably most hysterical in a good way.
They will find a reason to annul your issues with self or others through revolt. They will make you speak out loud and not suffer silently next time when you’re in trouble. These people are the most interested in making rebels around. Be it the society, gender differences, victims of violence of whoever they come across they will create and curate fighters from these damaged people. Often known to create history and rising from personal traumas these people make incredible friends family and immediate relationship holders. They are the banners, the torchbearers of building and empowering courage into faint or extinguished hopes in your heart. If you come across any never lose them, not that you can because they stick all the end, but surrounding yourself with people of such aura is the apex of your inner strength.
So, found someone similar to one of these 3 categories. Good luck dealing with them, remember all feelings are interlinked.
Tell me in the comments down below how it feels to be one on the categories above. I’m sure you would have found your type. Meet you soon with another post, until then Bbyee pandas