Sushant Singh Rajpoot committed suicide a few days ago. Everyone claims that depression is the main cause of his death. It could be true because we can never know what is going on with others. Actually we don’t want to know, because it is not a fun or recreational activity involving beer, dance, or trip. Now that he is dead everyone posts that you can talk to me if you are down or if something is troubling you. All these hypocrites are the ones who always ignored when someone really approached them. Now everyone will become an expert in dealing with depression, they will copy and post the quotations on social media because it is trending now. But where were you when someone really needed you, approached you, when someone actually put some effort and courage to come to talk to you about the things that he/she was going through. And why didn’t the suicides of the farmers ever feel like a personal loss to you?
Picture courtesy: Sushant Singh Rajput
The worst part during this time will be that now almost everyone will claim to have depression. Some maybe are true but others will have different ulterior motives. Just wait for it, boys will use depression to get laid, and girls to gain attention. Indians are expert in destroying things, we will make depression a fashion and then finally depression will lose its meaning. The people who truly are suffering from depression have already buried themselves away from this degenerate society, and now after what we are going to do with it, they will be lost again.
Depression is not just sadness, it is much more than that. It is full of numbness, there is a weight on your chest and you don’t even know what it is. You have plans, desires and you wake up every day with a hope that you will make it a better day, but you fail. You don’t find any will, you try to do it, grab your stuff and then again you feel numb, you are lost in the ocean of your own thoughts. If it was just sadness then at some point you would feel happiness somehow. There are many things that still matter to you when you are sad, but in depression, you don’t care about anything. You love things, people, parents, lover, or friends but you just don’t care, and you ask yourself everyday why? How can I be so unattached? The day again passes and its 3 am in the morning you are still awake then a thought hits you that the next day will be a better day. You meet your friends, talk, laugh but still, you are not with them, you are engaged in conversation, roasting your friends, you are hilarious but you are lost. You are scared that this moment will end, your friends will part ways in a moment and you will be left alone again with your thoughts.
This goes on and on like a loop and you are kind of stuck between until you find an escape. You try to run away but where? You can’t run away from your own thoughts. That’s when you think to die. That is when you see the end of everything you are going through.
The depressed ones always feel alone even when in-crowd, so some find drugs as a companion and why not! But does it help you cope with depression? No, the drugs give you an escape from reality. The reality where everything has lost its worth, its meaning. Now everyone starts judging you, criticizing you for the drugs. But why would you stop drugs and would want to be sober when the fantasy world is much better than this real one. Your dreams become more important to you only the ones you see when asleep because that is where you are away from your conscious thoughts.
The worst part is when you are in a relationship with someone because not everyone stands by your side when you are not you. Everyone wants to save themselves from the trouble of helping and saving you because you are worthless to them. The relationship, the partner you loved was important for you not them. They were with you at your best time because at that moment you were happy and cheerful and full of life making your partner happy. But now when you are depressed and always complaining about your life, why would they want to be with you? They will leave you when you are at your lowest point because it saves them from you and your negativity.
In a relationship the coming together part, the patch-up is always mutual but not the breaking-up, it is always individual.
You always thought that coming to a true relationship, a commitment is about caring, nurturing, healing, living, mending but that’s not true. You thought your partner will take care of you at this time but they make it worse for you. Now, where do you go? What do you do? Whom do you talk to? Your friends say, “Don’t worry, everything will be fine, forget about it, just chill”. These phrases will heal you, well, that is what your friends think.
Everything started with a lack of communication and the origin is Indian family. There is a communication barrier between parents and children, and that is the inception. According to Indian parents, the only pain a young child can feel is cuts and bruises because you are just a kid and what else do you have in your life rather than studying and playing. And if you somehow managed to talk to about it will always be linked to the romantic relationships. Why does everyone think that the cause of depression is just love? Why cannot it be bullying, the mental torture, the family, or the trauma that he/she never knew existed? Parents usually will say, “Don’t think much about it, you should focus more on studies, avoid it, eat and sleep healthy, and don’t use the phone too much”. Now everything is okay, at least that’s what they will think.
There is no ending to it. Humans have always been like this and they won’t change. In this world, if you are depressed then there is no coming out. But there is always someone who will be there to help you. You don’t need a bunch of people, that one human being is just enough. So, hang in there he/she will find you.